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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the writer that became a tailor? He had to make an Ernest living, the Hemingway."

"My wife did 70 chores around the house Cooking and 69."

"Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought."

"At what point in listening to your kid whine can you say, ""Sorry. This relationship isn't working out. You should start seeing other moms."""

"Thank God there are no Bible verses shorter than 140 characters."

"Beauty is only skin deep but that's ok because my eyes can't see any farther than that."

"A man walks into a bar. *""Son-of-a-bitch!""*"

"What do you call a stoner that complains about luck? A Hearthstoner"

"Homework is like a penis.... its long and hard unless you're asian."

"Katt williams lost a fight to a 7th grader. This was not the first time he looked like a complete idiot in front of a crowd."