185396

Joke of the Day

"I told my wife that if she has any problems she can talk to me like she talks to her girlfriends so we're discussing why I'm such a idiot."

"Real House Wines."

"What is the pirate's favourite letter? C"

"I sing like an amputee. Because I can't hold a note, can't carry a tune.."

"I call my ex wife... I call my ex wife an ""ankle"", because she is three feet lower than a cunt."

"My dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles and now I gotta follow him around the yard because it's his turn"

"What do gay horses eat? Horse Dick"

"[interrupts gf talking about her dream wedding] lol a horse drawn carriage? ""what's funny about that?"" a horse can't hold a pencil karen"

"A Bagpiper, a Kangeroo, an Irish poet, and Mother Theresa walk into a bar . . . . . . . the barman, who was drying a glass, lifted his head and asked, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"How many people with OCD does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. It *has* to be seven."