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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Hipster that drowned in the canal? It wasn't mainstream."

"Prostate Cancer **;** Edit: *But seriously, cancer isn't funny.*"

"got arrested for smuggling books into kentucky got off on a technicality, no one there could *prove* they were books"

"I met a prostitute with a degree in philosophy. She'll blow your mind, man."

"chewing tobacco must've been a hard sell: Do you like nicotine but hate smoke but love to spit smelly wet chunks of leaves? Well guess what"

"Text from niece: I'm board! M: Perhaps you could work on your spelling. N: Wat?"

"Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks."

"What do you call a hard drive in a hydraulic press? File compression"

"Cop- Do you have any drugs in the vehicle? -No, go fish."

"What do pizza delivery drivers and gynecologist shave in common? They both have to smell it but never get to eat it"