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Joke of the Day

"got arrested for smuggling books into kentucky got off on a technicality, no one there could *prove* they were books"

"[at a loud bar] HIM: [yelling] DO U HAVE ANY PLANS AFTER THIS? HER: [also yelling] YES I DO ACTUALLY HAVE PLANTS THAT I KISS"

"""I suffer from CDO ... ...Its like OCD, but in alphabetical order, LIKE IT SHOULD BE!!"""

"The iPhone SE just came out Finally a phone that Donald Trump can use."

"An M&M for 50 cent!? That's Ludacris!"

"Why do black people from west Africa never go on cruises? They're not falling for that again."

"Are you guys alright? No you are all left."

"Picture a sandwich. Now picture another sandwich that talks. Picture a third sandwich. I'm really high."

"Don't you hate it when you don't know something and have no way of finding out? We need some kind of... global information network."

"My friend has the Koran on DVD... I asked him if he could burn me a copy."