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Joke of the Day

"All International Pilots need to know English. But middle eastern pilots only need to know how to say Allahu Akbar."

"What do you call an obese psychic? A four chin teller."

"Liquid ASS Prank In Aunts Room"

"What's worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Me: Look, even if you could breathe underwater, no one wants to be Aquaman. 4yo: Who's Aquaman? Me: EXACTLY!"

"I just did yoga. No wait, yogurt."

"Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors? To see the battle."

"You hate me? Well okay, grab a chair and wait for me to care."

"Dressing up as the grim reaper while at work in the ER is not amusing says HR. So uptight."

"DID YOU KNOW? You can feed a lot of squirrels into those pneumatic tubes at the bank before the teller finds the shut-off switch."