185261

Joke of the Day

"Oh, you're about to earn your 3rd master's degree? I'm still working on spelling ""bananas"" without singing ""Hollaback Girl"" in my head."

"Inside Out 2: The girl enters puberty. Her emotions get out of control. She goes Goth. Sadness murders the other emotions in their sleep"

"If necessity is the mother of invention why does so much unnecessary stuff get invented?"

"[at the mall] ""Excuse me? I lost my son. Can I please make an announcement?"" ""Of course."" [leans in to mic] ""Goodbye you little shit."""

"The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice."

"HILARIOUS: 5 ways in which parents put us through tortures during our childhood!"

"Ever find yourself masturbating and realize that you've already watched this episode of Trading Spaces?"

"The difference between a turtle and a politician... ... You feel bad after running over a turtle."

"What does the sterile man say when asked if he's gonna get neutered? Vas the deferens?"

"My TCP server is getting fat Too many processed syn-acks"