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Joke of the Day

"If you are the one who stole my computer yesterday, please disregard the folder labeled, ""Nature photographs."" Thanks."

"Mitches ain't shit but guys named Mitchell."

"It's going to be so good when I finally make a tweet that lampoons society so much that everyone just changes their ways and smartens up."

"My doctor recently told me that I had to stop masturbating. When I asked him why he said ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"My boss said ""dress for the job you want, not for the job you have"" Now I am sitting in a disciplinary meeting in my Wonder Woman costume."

"What's a communists favourite sporting event? Commonwealth Games"

"An albino guy walks into a tattoo parlor... ...the tattooist looks him over, and asks ""So... what do you want?"" The albino guy replies, ""BEIGE. EVERYWHERE."""

"My wife fave birth to our daughter yesterday. She was born with jaundice So there she was - small round and yellow. We called her *melon*-y"

"What do you call 2 people with identical penises? Doppelwangers"

"It might take a village to raise a child... but it only takes a viking to raze a village."