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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the water thief-turned-photographer? Apparently he was a great pitcher-taker. (Credit goes to my husband.)"

"I Always Give 100% [FIXED] 20% on Monday, 20% on Tuesday, 20% on Wednesday..."

"Saw this a while back There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that understand binary and those who do not."

"You know, they're making the prospective Mars astronauts shave their whole bodies prior to departure. That way, when it's time for blastoff... they'll baldly go where no man has gone before."

"""Just because you Can't dance, doesn't mean you Shouldn't dance."" Alcohol."

"It sucks when you try to join a gang in a new city and find out none of your street creds transferred."

"""Son, do you know why we named you Easter Bunny?"" *sigh* ""Because you don't b-"" ""BECAUSE WE DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU"""

"What do gays and republicans have in common? Both are feeling a little butt hurt after yesterdays decision."

"You didn't question the free nachos or the ride in the van. But now that I've got a knife to your throat you're all ""why, why?"""

"I was looking at the fruit in the bowl, thinking... How the fuck did I end up with a gay goldfish..."