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Joke of the Day

"""Son, do you know why we named you Easter Bunny?"" *sigh* ""Because you don't b-"" ""BECAUSE WE DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU"""

"Show me a man who calls himself a vegan, ...and I'll show you a man who's trying to shag a vegan."

"OBAMA IS COMING FOR YOUR GUNS!! ME: OMG *clutches guns* [7 years later] ME (frustratedly checking my watch): This guy is taking forever"

"[throwing a party] I invited Judas. That okay? ""Judas from IT, or the guy who betrayed Jesu-"" *loud knock* ""It's the Roman legion. Open up!"""

"Why did Kelly fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock? Who's there? ....Not Kelly."

"What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit? An anti-hissy-tamine."

"How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb? The answer may shock you."

"Comic Sans is like if Guy Fieri were a font."

"Mountains aren't just funny They are hill areas"

"I always get worried when I hear Chris Brown has a new hit out. I bet it's an uppercut"