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Joke of the Day

"Q: What happened to the Irishman who tried to kill himself by .swallowing 100 pain killers? A: After two he began to feel better."

"I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters. It's shift work."

"A Jamaican is asked, use Dandelion in a sentence ... He then says ... ""The cheetah is faster dandelion"""

"What does a pig put on it's nose for a sunburn? Oinkment!"

"""Hey guys, I just lost at the Golden Globes!"" - Louis CK, brilliantly introducing himself tonight."

"When they announced Ashley Madison was made up of almost all guys... I realized the internet really is a series of tubes."

"If the Narwhal bacons at midnight, what does it do at noon? It bakes off."

"Final words on germanwings flight recorder: ""Dave's not here..."""

"What do you call a Spanish midget? A paragraph. Because he's not a full essay."

"Hahaha stupid person... When it says 55mph it really means 64mph.........Idiot turtle person"