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Joke of the Day
"Someone told me you thought you were good enough to be part of my exclusive pee club. Ok. Urine."
Next Joke
"Amsterdam, 26 October1942, about tea time. Mr Frank - ""Shhhh Quiet everybody ... the Germans are coming"". Anne Frank - ""I am too"""
"Me: That was fun! Fist me! Him: What?! Me: Fist me!! *holds out knuckles* Him: ....."
"So what if I don't have a perfect body?! I'm way better off than I was when I started. Ya know, a baby that used to shit his pants. I do that way less now."
"Took my dog to a bonfire... ...and as he sat there staring at it blankly I realized he loves sticks. I was burning a giant pile of his toys."
"What do you call a group that has gotten nothing done since the 90s The UN"
"The Dalai Lama and Gandhi aren't the same? I thought they were basically Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. I feel like people are messing with me."
"OK I GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS WHOLE HILLARY EMAILS THING. TURNS OUT THEYRE LIKE A FAST KIND OF MAIL THAT GOES IN THE COMPUTER."
"A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on war. The librarian replies, ""Fuck off, you'll lose it."""
"How many pictures of the sky until we are satisfied as a people"