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Joke of the Day

"A woman asks a famous man to give her a signature on her breast. The famous man says ""Sorry, I don't know how to write that small."""

"There should be a terrible show about a woman, her mom, and her daughter, all 3 named Jennifer, called ""Jenerations"" on Lifetime or the CW."

"Whats the odd one out ? The man on the moon? Santa Claus? Or an honest Lawyer? Yes you got it Santa. The other two are figments of the imagination."

"Spell roast five times, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t. What do you put in a toaster? I usually put bread in a toaster."

"What did Han Solo say when Leia asked for help with a crossword clue? I don't know"

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face. A joke from a 3 year old who thought it was hilarious, but probably didn't understand it."

"If you're a vegan w a gluten allergy who doesn't own a TV do you put it on a business card or just wait to force it into every conversation?"

"How do you make an idiot easily wait ? I tell you tomorrow."

"What is The Fonz's blood type? A"

"I take my women the same way i take my presidents. Half black and no Bush."