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Joke of the Day

"Apparently speed dating doesn't involve taking amphetamines. UGH. Worst night ever."

"My wife is breaking up with me because of my masturbation addiction... Boy do I feel like a big jerk."

"I ran a marathon in 2011 if you add it all up probably."

"Once a girl lied to her husband about her extra martial affair .. You know what happened next ? Christianity"

"My mother in law bought a talking parrot, but returned it a week later. ""This parrot hasn't spoke a single word."" She complained. ""I haven't had a fucking chance to!"" Replied the parrot."

"Saw the pictures of the Hooters girls who were fired due to weight discrimination? Now I'm in the mood for Wings, Muffin Tops & Camel Toes"

"Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it."

"So I'm making a TV series about a plane hijacking.. We've just shot the pilot."

"My dick is like Amazon Prime... It comes fast :("

"hey there delilah, oh shit no i meant vicky babe i promise you're the only one no this is not a hickey ?it's just a bruuuise ?"