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Joke of the Day

"hey there delilah, oh shit no i meant vicky babe i promise you're the only one no this is not a hickey ?it's just a bruuuise ?"

"What's the best thing about having sex with 23 year olds? There's twenty of them."

"Websites never remember me :("

"World's most Ridiculous alarm clock http://youtu.be/cHHHpbVJiOE"

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? ..........Nothing you've already told her twice!"

"What do cannibals on a budget eat? Ramen. (Sound it out.)"

"They should name hurricanes after black people: It only takes one to ruin the neighborhood."

"Just saw a woman getting 'running lessons' with rubber bands & a head gear. Pffft, I could've taught her for free and with only a chainsaw"

"There's been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed..."

"I was speaking to a lad at work called krowski. I asked, ""So are you Polish?"" He said, ""No, my great grandad was."" I said, ""Oh, so you're just a tad pole?"""