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Joke of the Day

"My local museum is trying to raise money by setting up a dinosaur fossil display. How will it work?Remains to be seen."

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary Those who don't And those who weren't expecting a base-3 joke."

"Zelda: Why aren't you mowing the lawn? Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight"

"A missionary noticed a particularly happy cannibal Missionary: Joe, you look unusually cheery today. CannibalJoe: Today wife gave me head"

"how are women like a quantum computer? they are both turned on and off by you at the same time."

"Drugs and alcohol aren't the answer. Unless the question is why did you shit on the sidewalk last night?"

"Perverts have made it so you can't even park your makeshift surveillance van conspicuously outside girls' college diving team meets anymore."

"Guys who go see 50 Shades of Grey... Do you all remain seated an extra 30 min after the movie's done? "

"People used to think George Washington was antisocial. But he just wasn't a party person."

"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies."