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Joke of the Day

"The drinking age in Alabama has changed to 25 Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school"

"Women treat me like God. They only talk to me when they need something."

"What do you call a guy with eight dicks? A coctopus"

"Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant? She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed."

"Why did the hipster burn his fingers? because he changed the light bulb before it was cool"

"I knew you would come crawling back to me. Shut up and give me back the wheelchair."

"To help me get to sleep I'm counting miners."

"One fun thing about having a crappy car is abruptly shutting off the air conditioner on the highway and pretending you have a hyperdrive."

"so a guy with a premature ejaculations problem comes out of nowhere"

"I was really hesitant about this new haircut at first.... ...but I'm starting to like it you know. It's really growing on me. Sorry I'll leave now."