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Joke of the Day

"Life seems to be like a pushy boyfriend Because even when I'm not in the mood I still seem to get fucked by it"

"How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick !"

"I went to an 'Army Style training day'... I don't feel any fitter but my boots and bed look immaculate."

"When you ask a girl, Wanna go to the gym with me? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQegAi6d-MM"

"Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights"

"Did you hear about that kid called Agree who kept getting bullied? Everybody agreed to *dis*agree."

"Gay Necrophelia ""well I don't see anything wrong with gay necrophelia,"" said bob, in dead earnest."

"Did you guys hear about the kidnapping in Jacksonvillle? He woke up."

"You don't' have to be upset, if nobody notices you You'd make a decent sniper!"

"Life is like toilet paper... You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."