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Joke of the Day

"An Old Woman Commissions a Tombstone... ... she asks the carvers to write ""born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin."" It wouldn't fit on the face, so they just wrote ""Returned unopened."""

"You may not like EVERY government agency... ...but you've really gotta hand it to the IRS."

"What do you call lesbian eskimos? Klondykes"

"I carry a magic 8 ball because no one should have to make tough decisions alone."

"A short one for classical musicians I once owned a frying pan that once belonged to the great Leopold Stokowski. It was non-stick."

"I just invented this new word! Plagiarism."

"Coconut oil on my dry skin this winter has made me attractive to women. Problem is the chocolate from the Mounds bars is ruining my clothes."

"My abusive father always tells jokes His favorite part is the Punch Line."

"My sex life is like my baseball career I've never made it to second base"

"Did you see the guy in Birmingham, Alabama trying to fuck a clock? He heard time was relative."