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Joke of the Day

"Why do they carry Marines around on Naval ships? Because sheep would be too obvious."

"Finally finished carving GOOGLE EARTH CAN SUCK IT - plus a rude emoticon - into the face of a massive cliff. Now... we wait."

"How did they get from one floor of the Death Star to another? In the elevader!"

"Why did Trump run in Us instead of Canada? Because He's worried that he would win with a minority government."

"Why did God give man a penis? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up."

"Why do support meetings for premature ejaculation always start on time? Because the members come early."

"How do you make an epileptic dance? Throw a flashbang into the room."

"Nice guys finish last And they generally warn you just before they do."

"Alex: This term indicates a zero score in tennis. Contestant: What is love? *dance party erupts*"

"How to stop Facebook Live and Marketplace notifications: 1) Open Facebook app 2) Go to Settings 3) Throw your phone into a river"