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Joke of the Day

"[first date] ME: I'm having a great time HER: I'm not ME: *peeking out from my pillow fort* I don't even let my dog in here, Janet"

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex. ....my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia."

"People who like shitty lite pop-rock are lucky. They get to hear their favorite music in department stores and at the dentist."

"Bob Ross went to hell... ...to beat the devil out of it ;) P.S. Just finished watching some episodes. I miss him so much ;( Paint in peace my friend...and God bless ;)"

"Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course."

"Jokes about deporting Mexicans aren't funny They're despicable."

"A boy bought some Tesco burgers from the canteen, The dinnerlady asked what he wanted on them. The boy replied: ""I'll have 5 each way!"""

"Over Christmas, my Mexican friend told me why they have the tradition of making tamales instead of other traditional foods. It's so they have something to unwrap."

"JEllo hooker? What's the difference between Jello and a Dead Hooker? Jello wiggles when you eat it out"

"We live in a generation where Gorilla Glass technology protects our phones.. ..yet there's nothing that exists that could have saved Harambe."