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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy that was hospitalized with several plastic horses in his ass? His condition is stable"

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? Ya think it be R, but it's da C!"

"do mice turn into rats or do i just have both in my apartment?"

"Sam Allardyce is a disgrace and needs to be punished, humiliated and made an example of... Therefore he should continue as England Manager"

"So I slept with your daughter last night. She has a tiny dick though."

"...it's like what the mussel said to the clam... ""I wouldn't wish that on an anemone!"""

"Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother who was an evil scientist. His name was Frank Einstein"

"This ad says: ""3 out of 5 smokers die"" Apparently the other 2 become immortal."

"The wife convinced me into taking her to Hawaii if she lost 20 pounds. You'd be surprised how many M&M's someone can swallow in their sleep."

"Last night, a cop pulled me over. ""Out of the car!"" he said. Then an Indian, fireman and construction worker appeared. We danced until dawn."