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Joke of the Day

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his arse."

"It is too hot in India now There's a cap for that."

"I've been getting bullied... and I've been thinking about suicide. I would simply just drink BULLEACH."

"Owning a selfie stick is a good way to tell people that you've driven all of your friends away with your narcissism."

"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."

"How do your organize a space party? You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)"

"Did you hear about the man who was found dead shortly after insulting one Mr. T Crews? He died of dissin' Terry."

"I've been using Vim for 5 years... Mainly because I don't know how to exit it"

"A friend is someone who will help you move. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a dead body."

"(Wedding) Priest: They've written their vows Wife: *recites beautiful vows* Me: *takes out notecard* I love you and cheese the same amount"