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Joke of the Day

"Why do Jewish women love circumcisions? They'll get their hands on anything that's 10% off."

"ME: Did you hear Jack & Cindy got divorced and he's dating someone half his age? HUB: Yep. He's livin the dream ME: HUB: His dream not mine"

"4 AM BLADDER: Get up. You need to go STOMACH: And you're hungry BRAIN: Imagine if Hammer Time was a real time zone. We'd have to move there"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick."

"How many biblical figures does it take to get Donald Trump elected president? Two Corinthians."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroganoff"

"How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews"

"Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country? He was Snowden."

"I don't know if you guys will get my yoga joke... ... it's kind of a stretch."

"What do you give to someone who has everything? Antibiotics!"