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Joke of the Day

"I'm a bit of a self deprecating comedian, I must admit, I'm not very good."

"*waits for a sign* *dead bird falls from sky* *waits for another, better sign*"

"What do Jedi sheep sound like? Dagobah."

"I'm a real Renaissance Woman (riddled with plague)"

"JOKE! :D What is a Nigger in a Cockpit? .... ... .... .... .... A Pilote ! What are you thinging about! tststststststs Rassist !"

"Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and re-entry gave you a tan."

"Bring a Knife on a Date! When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"A man asked sombody for the time The person replied ""3:15"". The first guy says ""that's odd, I've been asking the same question all day and I've been getting different answers each time!"

"When I was done filling my tank, a little bit of gas leaked out of the nozzle onto the ground. I actually felt my peener nod with empathy."

"How do you piss off thousands of people on the internet all at once? [deleted]"