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Joke of the Day

"A man asked sombody for the time The person replied ""3:15"". The first guy says ""that's odd, I've been asking the same question all day and I've been getting different answers each time!"

"Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman."

"""Steak and Shake"" great burgers and also a good way to kill baby vampires."

"Did you hear about the mummy that reached the top 10 with his new album? People say it's cause he has the tightest wraps"

"Dentistry is the perfect profession for people who like to talk but don't want a response"

"I don't know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you."

"I think it's odd that you can buy binoculars, but no heteronoculars, homonoculars nor transnoculars."

"[date] Me: Have you ever had it so deep your toes curl? Her: No, I'd love that Me: [pulls out 15th century poetry book] get ready Her: um"

"Girls say all men are the same. Why they have so many problems choosing one then?!"

"My son just walked in crying, saying he was scared as Trump won. I said, fuck off, you're 22 & British. Oh yes he replied & went to work."