184153

Joke of the Day

"[job int] ""& what are your areas of weakness?"" [leans in so close my nose touches the interviewers] ""I don't like people touching my nose."""

"Due to my lack of sexual experience... I prematurely ejaculate every time I watch a baseball game."

"I know they don't recommend ibuprofen during pregnancy but I needed something for the hangovers."

"There are two types of people: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data... ..."

"Like most movies. My uncle showed me big things in his trailer."

"Can someone please explain this joke to me? How do you get the elephant out of the theatre? You can't. It's in his blood."

"What's the difference between a pair of shoes and a ginger girl? You try your best to keep your shoes from getting wet when you go to town."

"I ceaselessly seek validation from strangers. No joke, but that's why there would be a joke in the first place."

"I ate a banana so big that my Facebook relationship status automatically changed from ""Married"" to ""It's Complicated."""

"A police officer found two kids walking the streets. One had a battery and the other had a firecracker. He charged one and let the other one off"