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Joke of the Day

"Due to my lack of sexual experience... I prematurely ejaculate every time I watch a baseball game."

"My new year resolution is 1024x768."

"women secrets? Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40."

"I'm catching a lot of Pokemon on my drive home... ... because the hospital stay after a car accident tends to make the commute last much longer."

"Want to hear a Cosby joke? Wait ... I told it wrong. I wasn't supposed to ask for consent."

"Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ? Because he didn't want to be recognised !"

"[helping kid w/math] What is 0.1 as a fraction? ""One tenth?"" Good, now what does 10% mean? ""Battery low, plug in your phone?"" Perfect"

"- Fred, Velma, Shaggy... Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals? - Rhino - We know you do, Scooby, but it's not your team's turn"

"What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? A violin has strings. A fiddle has straaangs."

"Little known fact: Most Star Wars' space fights filmed in a church Pew Pew Pew"