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Joke of the Day

"*grandpa in hospice* ""son your generation relies on technology too much"" ""no gramps"" *pulls the plug* ""yours does."" beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep"

"9yo: *struggling for 10 mins trying to start peeling a banana* How do you get into these!? Yo, evolution: You missed one.."

"As I spread my girlfriend's legs I thought to myself... This is the strangest thing I've ever had on toast."

"What do you call a starving artist from 17th Century England? baroque"

"How does a black women know if she's pregnant? All the cotton on her tampon has been picked off."

"I told the sad ghost ten puns to raise his spirits... No pun intendid."

"Grinch? Scrooge? Why don't you just come out and say 'Jew'."

"Nothing says rock bottom quite like having your head in the oven for 45 minutes before you realize you forgot to pay the gas bill"

"My wife says I'm irresponsible with money! No change there then."

"Shout out to my arms for always being by my side... & my legs for being there every step of the way"