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Joke of the Day

"Shout out to my arms for always being by my side... & my legs for being there every step of the way"

"One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money."

"Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia? Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state."

"Why don't mathematicians ever get blackout drunk? They know their limits."

"Did you know tank tops were illegal until the U.S constitution came out? It gave people the right to bare arms."

"Which country has the most millionaires? Zimbabwe."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change."

"People love making jokes about camouflage but I just don't see the humor."

"[robbing bank] leader: go in & grab everything you can *i go in to grab loot* Me: (yanking pen chain, increasingly panicked) no no No NO NO-"

"Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said ''So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses!"