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Joke of the Day

"Lemme get this straight: you take my tonsils, I get free ice cream [dr] yup what other parts of me will you take in exchange for ice cream"

"Two wind turbines are having a paddle 1: What's your thoughts on renewable energy? 2: I'm a big fan."

"I'm eating this banana sideways so my husband doesn't get the wrong idea."

"Wanted to buy a 17th century European castle but I'm baroque."

"What do you call hot women in France? Tourists"

"You cannot eat me unless you spread me. -Butter"

"Opening a bag of M&M's will produce no sound to a normal human. A toddler, it's like the atomic blast at Nagasaki to those creatures"

"What do you get if you pour boiling water down rabbit holes? Hot cross bunnies !"

"""I just threw up in my mouth a little."" - Cows"

"[Red Lobster] Waiter: we're offering Endless Shrimp. Me: bring me the endless shrimp <5 days later> Waiter: please leave, I have a family"