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Joke of the Day

"The Hispanic fruit cup locks eyes with the beautiful lady across the bar... He makes his move, walks over and says ""why, Jello there"""

"I wish life had a rewindthe-weekend button."

"If it's true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?"

"I'm thinking about giving that Call of Duty game a shot, but first I'm gonna try one last time to get past level 4 on Duck Hunt."

"A man asked his wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day: Wife: ""A divorce."" Husband: ""I really wasn't planning on spending that much."""

"So I heard my gf fart for the first time...she denied it But I had already decided earlier, I'd never argue with my imaginary gf."

"If everyone walked around with their orgasm face, no one would ever get laid."

"Guess what happens when you have a vivid dream that you're taking a piss."

"What do you get when you have a blonde do a handstand? A brunette with bad breath."

"Why do people with Ocd never have diarrhea. They got their shit in order."