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Joke of the Day

"Awesome Moment when you are telling lie and your best friend notices and joins you . :)"

"Young God: ok, a little hydrogen and- *chemistry set explodes* Mom: what was that?! God: nothing! *scoops resulting universe into shoebox*"

"In the Navy, how do you separate the men from the boys? With a crowbar."

"My wife has disappeared... She's been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So I went down to Goodwill and got all her clothes back."

"I met a guy today with a huge tumor... It was tho growth."

"If you are trading Cephalopods, it's important that you exchange those that are of equal size and value. You know.... Squid Pro Quo"

"Anyone got a 10 year old daughter I could introduce as mine? Stuck in an elaborate lie after putting my music on shuffle at a party."

"Did you hear about the movie ""Constipated"" ??? I heard it hasn't come out yet"

"Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ? Pupil: 12 - 2nd January 2nd February...!"

"This Valentines Day I hope you got shot by Cupid and not a legless Olympic sprinter."