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Joke of the Day

"Young God: ok, a little hydrogen and- *chemistry set explodes* Mom: what was that?! God: nothing! *scoops resulting universe into shoebox*"

"Whoever wins the Oscar for Best Sound Mixer is gonna get so much sound mixing pussy it's not even funny."

"Why did email come easy to the lumberjack? He was already very familiar with loggin' :D"

"What kind of music did Jesus hate? Anything by Judas Priest and Nine Inch Nails."

"Went into the kitchen to look for pot and all I found were pans."

"[interview] So what makes you qualified to be an x-ray technician? Superman: Are you being serious right now?"

"""What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?"" - my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome"

"Which is the meat patties' least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!"

"I hate it when people go round quoting the bible. I haven't even read it yet, but somehow folks think it's cool to give key plot points away"

"My dad told me I was no son of his. Then my mom said ""Dammit how did he know?"""