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Joke of the Day

"If I had a time machine I'd destroy the invention of autotune and say ""good luck being famous now you talentless brats!"""

"Shot pool with my 15yo son. Taught him a valuable lesson. You can restart a video game 1000 times. You can only lose your allowance once."

"BANG BANG! Q: Why did the mirror have holes in it? A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself."

"Minecraft releases a new movie Critics say its a block buster!"

"Why was Windows afraid of 7? Because 7 8 10."

"I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day."

"One Night Stand This furniture store keeps emailing me, all I wanted was one night stand!"

"I become instantly beautiful when I put on my sunglasses. -Every girl, ever."

"Iron Man Iron Man Does whatever an iron can Makes stuff hot Makes stuff flat Burns your hand Burns the cat Burns the house down . . Shit!"

"Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark."