55008

Joke of the Day

"Iron Man Iron Man Does whatever an iron can Makes stuff hot Makes stuff flat Burns your hand Burns the cat Burns the house down . . Shit!"

"Pizza Hut is very consistent... The pizza tastes exactly like the box it comes in."

"Why is Time a whore? Because she fucks everybody."

"I started a project to hire people with depression on my dairy farm... if there's one thing they're good at its milking it."

"Most people seem to define ""skepticism"" as a rigorous doubt of any fact which they would prefer not to believe."

"Why doesn't money bring happiness? Because if you have a billion dollars, almost anyone will be a bitch."

"Learn from your parents mistakes... Use birth control"

"If you hit people hard enough with a tennis racket they turn into waffles."

"Lots of people cry while chopping onions. The trick is to not form an emotional attachment."

"Best way to get a girl to come home with you is to tell her you own 3 lava lamps seriously what girl wouldn't want to see 3 lava lamps"