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Joke of the Day

"*Eats a Lean Cuisine *20 minutes go by. *Devours entire Pizza Hut store...including employees."

"I have two kids, five and seven Silly names I know."

"The difference between true love and dinosaurs: We're sure that dinosaurs once existed on this earth."

"You know why some people simply don't have a butt? Because they are on a gluten free diet."

"To that person who long, long ago, first looked at coffee beans and thought, ""You know, I bet I could make some kind of hot drink out of these things.""... I THANK YOU. VERY VERY MUCH."

"Coworker: How are you doing this morning? Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you?"

"The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house. I didn't know what to make of it."

"I don't repeat gossip So listen carefully the first time"

"How do you kill a vegetarian vampire? With a steak to the heart."

"Firing Victoria of IAMA"