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Joke of the Day
"When Hugh Hefner dies I don't think people will say he's in a better place."
Next Joke
"You need glasses when you do maths Because it helps with division. -Barbara from Rooster Teeth"
"A man in a restaurant asks the waiter, ""How does the chef prepare the chicken?"" The waiter replies, ""He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"""
"Perhaps Charles Manson is a selfless lover. YOU don't know."
"Him: 'Sorry Mr Hill, no last minute call from the Governor. Any last words?' Me: -whimpering 'She squeezed the toothpaste from the middle'"
"One time I made a snowman and gave him a cucumber nose. Carrot noses are the standard protocol but I'm what u would call a rebel."
"I wish Laffy Taffy made a more modestly wrapped version for funerals and other occasions where laffing isn't appropriate."
"Friend at the pub says: if they ever make a film on Oscar Pistorius, it shouldn't be called 'Bladerunner', it should be called.... Taking the Pisstorius."
"Wherever someone says, ""Oh, geez!"" I always think, ""OGs,"" as in ""Original Gangstas."" Whenever someone says, ""Gee whizz!"" I think, ""...gross."""
"Seriously ppl who eat pizza with a fork & knife? This is America. We shove it in our faces like the rest of the fat people. Get it together."