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Joke of the Day
"I just saw two people having aggressive sex while camping. They were fucking in tents."
Next Joke
"My wife is like a piece of Sodium Carbide She's dangerous when wet"
"This spa was amazing! Umm Miss, you just walked through our car wash."
"Me: Guys, please, I just need 5 minutes without a question, so I can finish this. 4yos: Me: 4yos: Me: 4yo: Why do you need 5 minutes, Daddy?"
"Putin persecutes homosexuals in his own country... ...then goes and enters another country through the back door? Very mixed messages from Russia."
"What country has the strictest dress code? Thai-land."
"Accepting a Facebook friend request from someone you follow on twitter is like bringing home your drug dealer to meet your family."
"If John Cena lost in Baltimore at Payback, the city might riot. WWE wouldn't want that. Never give up"
"she used to like me. boy: k girl: every kiss begins with k boy: too bad ugly starts with u! girl:... boy: apply cold water to that burn"
"[7am] *drinks 19 cups of coffee for work *can't stay awake [9pm] *takes a sip of coffee [2am] I should vacuum the dog"