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Joke of the Day

"Today I played chess with some old men in the park. It was hard to round up 32 of them."

"Did you know that by today's standards Marilyn Monroe would be considered dead?"

"Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that? Boy: Me and I'm going home now."

"What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxi cabs! Got this from a joke book my niece got for Christmas. Most of them were groaners but this one actually made me laugh!"

"I got offered a job at a kaleidoscope company. I'm looking into it."

"Sorry I reported your newborn's pic on FB but nudity is nudity"

"For the love of God, what is Jesus saving? Is it coupons? I bet it's coupons"

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be."

"What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? Oh wait, I don't have a garage. Sorry neighbor I'll clean them out tomorrow."

"""I have a coupon for a large 2 topping"" ""What toppings?"" ""Pepperoni & a small cheese pizza"" ""Sir you can't top a pizza with a smaller pizza"""