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Joke of the Day

"INTERVIEWER: Says here you do magic tricks? ME: *hands him back his business card* Is this your card? INTERVIEWER: holy shit"

"Yo mama is so ugly, she went to an ugly competition They said, ""Sorry, no professionals."""

"Who's the artist you find in the supermarket? Salvador Deli"

"What did Thomas Jefferson grow? Old."

"What's a gay-bar pickup line? Can I push your stool in?"

"Where did the orphans go after the Orphanage blew up? Everywhere"

"A mitochondrian walks into a bar and asks for a cup of energy. The barman says ""that'll be ATP"""

"What's an old woman taste like? Depends ..."

"I see wed people."

"Why is C afraid of every other letter in the alphabet? Because they are not Cs."