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Joke of the Day

"don't worry, if there's a third world war, the United States won't be involved because it's a first world country"

Next Joke
 
"Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays? They can wear casual clothes to work"
"1. Buy Dick Cheney's memoir. 2. Tie it to a board. 3. Pour water on it. 4. Demand the truth. 5. Fail to get it."
"[hospital] Looks like ur Vine went viral. ""Yay!"" Sorry ur VEIN went viral...you have a fatal blood disease. ""So waitmy Vine didn't go viral?"""
"Why was 6 afraid of 7?? Because 7 had Ebola."
"A zombie walks into a bar and asks for a shot. It was a 12 gauge."
"There are two kinds of people in the world... Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."
"I'm so thankful for my kids.If it weren't for them I'd never know what a cool sound my vacuum cleaner makes when it sucks up Rice Crispies."
"What kind of a cake requires goggles to eat? Bukkake"
"If a vampire bites his tongue, does his tongue become a vampire? Tongpire?"