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Joke of the Day

"Daughter is acting so rude I'm not sure she's even mine. Think my wife may have cheated on me with YouTube's comments section."

"'Space Jam' never gets old - that's because in the sterile environment of space fruit preserves don't spoil. Hi, I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson."

"There are two types of people in the world... 1. People who are bad with lists."

"Last year I ate out alone on Valentine's Day. To avoid embarrassment, I yacked the whole time with a lovely couple the next table over."

"What do you get when you cross a stoner with a halo nerd? Masterchief"

"An actual quote by President George Bush ""The problem with the french is that they don't have a word for entrepreneurs"""

"Q. How do you make holy water? A. Boil the hell out of it."

"I love the new sound reddit makes when you upvote a post"

"Why do black people always have nightmares? Because we shot the last one that had a dream."

"Vegetarian is an ancient Native Indian word meaning ""bad hunter""."