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Joke of the Day

"What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen? Time to get it fixed."

"What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursELF "

"My iPhone is like my girlfriend Doesn't blow"

"I before E except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbour."

"I'm drowning my self in coke right now. Not the drug. The drink. Nah jk it's the drug."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar Don't worry you'll soon change !"

"What's the difference between r/politics and r/liberal? None"

"I hate how much time my kids spend staring at their iPads. I wish they'd look up once in a while & pay attention to me staring at my iPhone."

"Are you going to the homecoming? No sorry I cant, I'm going to be at home cumming"

"*snail Olympics* How does it feel? ""Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon"" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? ""What"""