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Joke of the Day

"When I stayed over at my girlfriend's house, her extremely conservative father wouldn't let us sleep together. Which was a shame, because he is very attractive."

"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door who do you let in first? - The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in."

"If I ever have a daughter I want to name her Noe. It would be pronounced like Noel and spelled the same but with no 'L'."

"A priest opens a restaurant... and calls it ""Braise the Lord"""

"What do you call a midget that can communicate with ghosts that recently escaped from a prison A small medium at large"

"Some guy changed all his pass words to 'incorrect' so his computer can tell him the right pass word if he gets it wrong"

"It was mealtime on an airplane... ...and the flight attendant asked a passenger if he would like some dinner. ""What are my choices?"" he asked. ""Yes or no,"" she replied."

"Why do people make shitposts? Because they are in a crappy mood."

"I always wear a wedding ring when I go grocery shopping, so everyone thinks my cart full of groceries are for a family of 4 instead of just me"

"The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy."