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Joke of the Day

"Chrysler is recalling over 24,000 vehicles due to unexpected brake failure that could put many unsatisfied customers out of their misery."

"INTERVIEWER: Any questions for me? ME: How do I access the WIFI? INTERVIEWER: I meant about the job ME: Is that all capital?"

"Never correct my son when he calls Kanye West, ""Kenny West."""

"Why is Jesus so sexually frustrated? he is not coming till judgement day. so sorry am i going to hell for this?"

"I've been dating this girl who works at the zoo. I'm pretty sure she's a keeper."

"I'd have an extra 18 hours of free time every day if I lost my phone."

"I don't want to die a virgin... ... it would really confuse my kids."

"What does Tammy Wynette do to beat the heat? Stands by her fan."

"Q: Why was the firewood punished? A: It was knotty."

"I saw myself naked in the mirror. And now my hand isn't in the mood."