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Joke of the Day
"Being an amputee... On one hand it has its benefits, but on the oth-"
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"Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan have a fight to the death. Who will win? Everybody."
"No one has stolen my lunch at work since I started labeling it ""Stool Sample."""
"Cold turkey tastes so good. Why would anyone want to quit it?"
"Dad: Remember when I told you Santa wasnt real Me: Yea Dad: There's one more thing Me: Don't say it Dad: Retirement Me: *sobs uncontrollably"
"A quantum physicist gets pulled over. The police officer asks ""Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going?"" The quantum physicist responds ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""
"What do you call a dead Australian Wrestler? Stone Cold Steve Irwin"
"A blonde walks into a bar. Ouch."
"The Three Words You Dread What are the three words you dread the most while making love? ""Honey, I'm home."""
"Well, I was going to make a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy..."