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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a one-night stand? A humpty-dumpty!"
Next Joke
"The final season of Jersey Shore will feature all your favorite characters - The Situation, Snooki, the Department of Child Services. . ."
"Dentist: You don't have to floss all your teeth. Only the ones you wanna keep! *I start flossing his teeth* D: Um... Me: These are mine now"
"Do you know the thing about carpets? They demand to be felt."
"What is the difference between my dick and my life? Life is harder."
"If two vegans are arguing with each other... ...would it still be considered beef?"
"[AskReddit] I read that 4,156,257 people got married this year.... ....not to cause any problems, but shouldn't that be an even number?"
"People say drinking milk makes you stronger. I drunk 5 glasses of milk and tried to move a wall. It didn't work. Then, I drank 5 glasses of vodka and the wall moved alone!!"
"Chicken Pot Pie My three favorite things."
"A new nightclub has just opened down the road and they are offering free drinks all night for just under 20 quid. So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 19.99."