25040
Joke of the Day
"Do you know the thing about carpets? They demand to be felt."
Next Joke
"What do you call a man with no shins? Toe-Knee"
"I pulled a muscle masturbating... I know, I know; you're not supposed to put the punchline in the title."
"Today a woman came into my doctor's office with a sexually transmitted mental illness. She was fucking crazy."
"Just saw a man crying because he doesn't know what a homophone is To comfort him I sat next to him, patted his back and said, ""They're, their, there..."""
"What do you do to a dead scientist? You Barium"
"99 bugs in my code, 99 bugs in my code... Take one down, fix em' around, 404 bugs in my code."
"What's the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg..."
"BF went to text me ""almost there"" It came out ""almost dead"" So hungover, I wrote back ""thank god"" And now he arrived and things are awkward"
"What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message."