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Joke of the Day

"My uncle Robert was a shit ventriloquist He used to stick his hand up my arse and tell me to say nothing"

"I heard Plexiglass coffins are making a comeback, but... Remains to be seen."

"I want to just be a couch potato tonight, but I'm too lazy to get on my couch. So I'm a floor potato."

"What do you call a woman with a purple vagina? Satisfied"

"""You go girl"" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like"

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself, and spiders, and bears, and scientists, and scientists creating spider bears, and science bears"

"I almost hit a bunny but then i missed it by a hare."

"Freaking out people walking round the cemetery dressed as a Ghostbuster."

"How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY"

"I'll think of a good herb joke... When I have some thyme"