183338

Joke of the Day

"I think I CAN wander the restaurant with my robe open and eat off of your plate, sir. This is Olive Garden. When you're here, you're family."

"""I donno. America's Got Ghosts?"" -- someone in charge of a channel I probably pay $10 a year for and never watch."

"A group of Africans were playing Chinese whispers one goes to the other 'Ebola, pass it on'"

"Where's the red light district in Toronto? Behind the Maple Leafs' net."

"Have I told you lately... ...is the least romantic line a toll-collector ever said to his girlfriend."

"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog because he shuts up after you let him in."

"I tried inventing a belt with a clock on it... It was a waist of time"

"What is the difference between a politician and a mortician? A Mortician waits until after you're dead to fuck you."

"A pet hedgehog. Because you don't have enough pricks in your life."

"Wow, I thought ""flash mob"" meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?"